Why: Self Control

There are a few topics I'd like to discuss with you all via email or comments, like we did with the "what women want"/beauty issue. This is the second installment of my Why? series. The first one was a doozy and I'm pretty sure I lost a lot of readers over it. Sigh. If I didn't lose you and you just stopped posting comments, let me know. I still have people pleasing issues, can'tcha tell? Anyway, the first Why? was challenging and caused us to think outside the American 'box', so I figured I'd go ahead and continue with that pattern.

I have a question to ask you:

Do you believe that Christians are called to demonstrate self-control?
in all areas of their lives?
just some areas?
just sometimes?

Why or why not?

Update Below:

Here are some of my thoughts… that will lead to discussions on other topics. I promise. And I really do want to hear your thoughts. To discuss this.

I believe Christians are called to demonstrate self-control. There is no way we can do it perfectly, of course, but we are to submit in obedience to try. I believe this is for all areas of life. Most Christians would agree that self-control is a part of the gig.

But I’m bothered with by an attitude regarding a specific area where Christians seem to think they can ignore the idea of self-control: intimacy with one’s spouse. They want to do what they’d like, when they’d like to. The thing is, they don’t want the natural consequences of such behavior. Is that self-control? Or is that selfishness?

Now, I know that there are times when a woman could die if she conceived and/or carried a baby. I know that. Having a procedure done to prevent a death is different than having a procedure done to prevent a life. The heart attitudes are different. One is seeking to protect, the other is seeking to serve self.

God is always most concerned about our heart attitudes. This is true in all areas of our lives. My topic has two sides: the heart attitude about self-control and the heart-attitude regarding children. I know this. Right now, I’m just asking you to look at the self-control side of the topic. Another day for the other topic.

I know some people would disagree about abstaining during certain times because of the belief that a person should be willing to conceive anytime, but I do not think it’s wrong to abstain if you and your spouse’s hearts are in the right place. If your hearts are set on Him and not your own view of life, children and circumstances.

But… to have an attitude of, “We’re done. (insert # here) is just great. So, I’m getting ‘the clip-clip’ or having my tubes tied”, does that attitude display the desire to demonstrate self-control? I won’t even get into the topic that if you’ve prayed about and you believe God has confirmed your family size, then doesn’t that mean you won’t conceive any more any way? That’s for another post. (See, I told you it would lead to other discussions.)

Right now, I’m asking you to seriously consider self-control. Christians are called to live by it. That means all areas. Just as we would never say that if a Christian eats whatever they want, whenever they want (showing no self-control), they should not have to live with the consequences of that, or a Christian can say whatever they want, whenever they want, how can we say that a Christian can be intimate whenever they want and have no consequences of that? We say that unmarried Christians should not have that attitude, right? Do we think that it is only because they are having sex outside of marriage? Could another part of the problem be the lack of self-control? How can Christians make an area exempt just because they are married? Why is that ok?

As I was about to post my thoughts, two thoughts hit me:
1) lots of women don’t know when they are fertile. It would require them to learn their bodies and their cycle and pay attention. This lesson in learning your body, though, can reap benefits: you can know when you are fertile and when you are not, you can know something is wrong before your doctor can, you can know when ‘the change’ is starting, you can see God’s character of order displayed in the design of a woman’s body.

2) My testimony shows (if you’ve been reading my blog for awhile) that even through watching and knowing your body, pregnancies can still happen when you thought you were avoiding. In the case of someone who is avoiding due to serious medical concerns, a secondary method that does not destroy what God created may be an answer. Another answer may be to show further restraint in avoiding for longer time periods to stay within the non-fertile days. In the case of someone who was ‘sure’ they were done, could this be God’s way of showing you that you misunderstood Him?

Ok… please share your thoughts.