Seriously

Sometimes I feel like I could implode with joy and gratefulness for my life.
Sometimes I weep in gratitude for the opportunities I have been given.
Sometimes I bask in the goodness of every day moments.

The one thing that will cause my spirit to soar and my heart to swell out of pure pleasure every single time is when I hold my babies on my chest as they sleep.

Seriously, beyond happy.

If there is rocking involved, forgetaboutit.

The comfort.
The satisfaction.

It's reciprocal.

Since this is my sixth time to enjoy many months of a baby sleeping on my chest, I've come to appreciate it even more. There is bad and good in that. Bad, because I know how fleeting that time is and that it can never fully be recaptured. Good, because it causes me to revel in the times I do get to be the one that provides a warm embrace of trust for my dear little one.

The other night I had such a moment.

I rocked my precious baby after he awakened in the night because of a cold. He fell asleep immediately after I held him. He relaxed into a satisfied sleep right there on my chest. I sat in that rocker much longer than was necessary for him.

I did it for me.

I sat there and soaked in every sensation. Wishing I could make it last much longer than I knew it would, not just that moment in time, but the season of his life. Knowing that my baby boy was growing and would be leaving this stage much sooner than I wanted. Crying because I feared it was my last season for such pleasure. Praising God for giving us each other.

I can not find words to describe the honor it is to me to hold my baby in such a mothering way.
I can not express to you the right words that tell you how my soul finds a landing place while doing such a thing.

All I can say, is, seriously, I love every stinkin' second.