If Only...

I picked up my phone today to call my mom.

Then I stared at the handset as the dull ache caught up with my brain. I can't call my mom.

It's strange because we didn't talk all that often on the phone, but I keep thinking of calling her. We didn't have tons of phone conversations every week. But I guess it was enough. Now it certainly isn't enough.

If only I could talk to her again. Just hug her and say a few things, then let her slip back into eternity. If only I could hear her voice say my son's name, then let her slip back into the Presence. If only I could watch her dance and laugh, then let her slip back into walking on streets of gold.

The comfort I have is that I know she still exists. I serve the One True God and so did she. I don't have to depend on myths, or fairy tales, or even my own lame good words to see her on the other side of death. Jesus, my God, said "today you will be with me in Paradise" to a criminal who recognized and defended him in his dying moments. If a man such as that went straight to heaven, I have peace.

Even in the midst of the dull ache of missing her.

The very best comfort I have is that Jesus is who he said he was. He claimed to be the great I am. He claimed to be The Son. He claimed to hold the gates to the kingdom of god and heaven. Through God's grace, I accept his words. There were (and still are) only two other choices: Jesus was crazy and thought he was all those things, but really was a deranged lunatic OR Jesus was lying and he knew he wasn't those things and led many, many astray with his deceit.

I believe. And it affects every aspect of my life.
Including the times when I pick up the phone to call my mom.

If only others realized it was that easy, believing in and on Jesus Christ as the Messiah, instead of working so hard to try to tip the scales in their favor. If only, instead of sacrificing to a frivolous god whose whims are never really known. If only, instead of believing we each are some cosmic freak resulting from a big bang. If only.

Gratefully, though I continued to stare at the buttons on the phone as the dull ache spread from my heart to my mind, a warm peace followed it. Peace that I will talk to her again.

If only it didn't feel so far away.

Stumbling Block and My Weaker Brother

Something happened awhile back that got me ta' thinkin'. Yes, sometimes it happens.

The Bible talks about not being a 'stumbling block' quite a few times. It also addresses making decisions in consideration of our 'weaker brother'.

(Just a couple of references [feel free to check our Biblegateway.com for more]:
Romans 14:13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

1 Corinthians 8:9Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.)

A scenario came up in which I realized I could be a stumbling block to a weaker brother, even though it might look like I was trying to be the opposite. For example, if I said to a friend who is working hard at losing weight due to a recent diabetes diagnosis, "Would it be ok if I ate ice cream while we visited?", it would look like I'm considering my friend. BUT am I really if I'm putting the ball in her court? I'm now forcing her to deny me something instead of me choosing to sacrifice on her behalf. Same thing goes if a friend calls and invites me out saying, "Would it upset you if I drank alcohol?" Now I'm having to tell her yes or no. She doesn't know if I'm a weaker brother in this area of life. She may be attempting to avoid being a stumbling block, but...
...aren't stumbling blocks stumble causing because the person can't see them or maneuver around them well?

...aren't weaker brothers weak because they lack strength in a particular area?

If we truly want to avoid being a stumbling block or we want to truly consider our weaker brother, shouldn't we shoulder the responsibility instead of putting it on them?

Isn't that really the heart of the matter?

Fifteen Months

He's just yummy! Don'tcha think?

Poll Topic Discussion

Ok, I'm going out on a limb here to share my thoughts about the poll I took. Considering some things I've seen in the blogosphere lately, I'm a tad nervous sharing my mind innards, but I'm going to trust my readers. PLUS I'd really, really like to hear your thoughts, so if you are typically a lurker (that means a reader who doesn't comment), please consider sharing your thoughts with me via email or by posting a comment.

I really, really thought most women would choose beautiful or thin. Honestly.

Now, part of the problem was that I actually wanted to know a few things:
1) Do you consider yourself beautiful?
2) If you don't consider yourself beautiful, which of the following would you want to be if you could only be one?
3) Which of the following would you want your husband to think of you as?

I think most women, especially American women, desire to be beautiful and thin. I think they seek those two things more often over all the other choices on the list. I've considered that many people lied on the poll. I've considered that many people already think of themselves as beautiful, so that wasn't a necessary option. I've also considered that many women have deceived themselves into thinking that they don't seek being beautiful more than anything else. I've even considered that some people voted the way they knew was a correct way to answer (They gave the "Jesus" answer that kids give in Sunday School when they know what the teacher is looking for in an answer.). And yes, I considered that some of you really don't want others to think of you as beautiful over the poll option you chose (I still think it's at least second ;-)).

I mean if we, as women, focus on and seek to improve how we look on the outside every day (maybe even many times in a day: working out, beauty care, checking our appearance in the mirror, watching what we eat to reach an certain size or appearance, etc.), but don't focus on getting ourselves in shape on the inside, which poll choice are we really putting in first place?

The Bible recognizes beautiful women (Sarai, "beautiful"; Rachel, "lovely of form and beautiful"; Rebekah, "beautiful"; Abigail, "intelligent and beautiful"; Bathsheba, "beautiful"; Tamar, "beautiful"; Abishag, "beautiful"; Hadassah/Esther, "beautiful"; Beloved in Song of Songs, "beautiful and without flaw") so I know “beautiful” is something that exists. There are such delineations as unattractive, common, and beautiful when it comes to women.

My dear friend, Jan, shared some facts with me on how humans perceive physical beauty. When it comes down it, humans are drawn to symmetry. Stephen Marquardt, a retired California plastic surgeon who researches attractiveness, has moved from beauty's medical side to its mathematical side. He notes that a certain ratio has been found to recur in beautiful things both natural (flowers, pine cones, seashells) and man-made (the Parthenon, Mozart's music, da Vinci's paintings). This "golden ratio" is 1:1.618, with the number rounded to 1.618 known as "phi." Using phi as his guide, Marquardt designed a mask that applies the golden ratio to the face. For example, the ideal ratio between the width of the nose and the width of the mouth is -- you guessed it -- 1:1.618. The closer a face fits the mask, he finds, the more attractive the face is perceived to be.

So really, I'd like to be more symmetrical, but be perceived as beautiful.

What are your thoughts?
If you voted, why did you vote the way you did?
If I had asked you to rank these choices from 1 (most desired) to 5 (least desired on the list), how would you have ranked them?
Like Raising Charlie's Angels commented on the original post about this, does your opinion change when you think of how you want 'others' to think of you versus how you want your husband to think of you?

Let's talk, but be nice.

Edited to add: I do understand that there are health reasons for taking care of our bodies. They are very valid. They are actually necessary.wI also understand that inner beauty is important, but Scripturally that's not what the word addressed. I'm talking about when you see a photo of someone or when you first see them (first impression), not necessarily how you view them after you've known them awhile. These are two different things.

(Thank you to Just Jan for helping me word this more succinctly.)

Daniel 3: My First Thoughts

Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:14-18 (NIV Version, bold mine)

We are studying Daniel with our church family currently. It such an amazing story of faith, not just Daniel's but of his friends' too. This particular part is a famous story: three men choosing to be thrown into a blazing furnace instead of bowing to an idol. Three men miraculously rescued from that blazing furnace.

Their faith spoke to me as I sat in the pew. Faith tested in the ultimate way: choose faith in God and die OR choose something else. They could have bowed. They could have rationalized it in many different ways. They could have, but they didn't.

Their faith was faith in God, not faith in what He could do for them, but in Him. They recognized that He could rescue them from the furnace, but that He might not. They still chose God because of who He is. That's faith. Real faith. It reminded me of a man in the Bible who was called "blameless" and who "feared God and shunned evil", Job. The most memorable thing he ever said (in my opinion, of course) was "though he slay me, yet I will trust him". That's what faith is. Trusting God. No. Matter. What.

A Free Summer Bible Study Works for Me!

I love studying God's Word. During the summer, my life is busy though. Sorta crazy busy, even though I don't really want it to be... I'm working on that. Anyhoo, that's not what I called you here to tell you about. I wanted a short study this summer that would have me in the Word, but not overwhelm me. Something I could do on my own or with a friend.

Step in Joy of Living FREE four week study of three psalms. I'm loving it! Even though I've read these three psalms many, many times, I'm still learning! Actually, on Day 1 of Week 1 something new hit me! That's how God is... always willing to show us new things amidst the familiar.

I was introduced to Joy of Living studies ten years ago when I studied Genesis, verse by verse, for the first time. I was amazed! If you doubt the story of redemption Christianity tells, I challenge you to study Genesis.

Check out this free study for your summer study plans/goals/hopes. It works for me! Go visit We are THAT Family for more wonderful ideas (cuz, you know mine is wonderful!*wink*wink*) on all kinds of things!

Movie Rec

For the last week I have been obsessed with a movie. A fantastic movie. It has romance. It has drama. It has humor. It has dancing and singing. It had an underdog sports challenge. The movie swept me off my feet and had me twirling and vocalizing around the house for days. I was so enamored with it that I sat the kids down Saturday afternoon saying, "I'd like you to watch a bit of a movie and see if you like it. If you don't, we'll turn it off." It didn't take long to see they were enjoying it. We turned it off to entertain guests, but as soon as they left, the kids begged (I'm not exaggerating) to watch a bit more. We finished watching the epic length movie (it has almost four hours of film, but honestly, it doesn't feel like it unless you start it at 10pm) yesterday morning. Papalou even loved it.

Now all that may not seem so surprising since we love musicals in this family. All kinds of musicals. Proven by the fact that this movie is now a big favorite.

This musical that is entirely in Hindi. Yes, you read that right. The movie is a foreign film (nominated for best in 2002 by The Academy) made in India: "Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India". It's a Bollywood hit. Don't run!!! I'm telling you, this is a super duper movie. It was like "West Side Story" meets "The Natural" in Hindi. Faith even loved it, even though she couldn't read the subtitles. We filled her in when necessary. She cheered, she covered her eyes in anxiety, she giggled. (FYI: We didn't let her and Cutie Pie watch scenes surrounding worship of the gods; there were two.)

So... please add this movie to your queue. I mean, come on... why not take a four hour Bollywood challenge this summer? As a personal favor to me, watch "Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India" and come back to report.

Fathers

My Sweetie, my kids and I are so incredibly blessed!

Seriously.

Jacques Cousteau Style!

Remember that I said My Sweetie did me right at Christmas? Well one of the fabulous, over-the-top-for-our-current-budget gifts was the Olympus Stylus 850 SW. I had my eye on it for the following reasons: it's small enough for my purse, it takes 2-4 GB photos, it can be dropped (I can't blame my concern for this feature only on my kiddos), it is freezerproof (I don't really care about that, but it's fun to tell you) and it's waterproof. I can take take video and photos UNDERWATER with this baby! Oh, man! Can you say vacation fun?!

So, I just started using it a lot this summer, carrying it around in the diaper bag for normal life moments out and about. I can't stand the delay, but I haven't found an affordable point and shoot purse friendly camera that doesn't have delay. Anyhoo...

...back to our Fiesta Texas trip last Monday (cuz I know you're not bored of hearing about that yet!). My kids' favorite part of the entire day (ok, I'm serious... after every ride Faith would ask me, "Are we going to the big pool now?") was the water park. The hilarious thing is that they didn't even know- and still don't- that there are water rides. They just wanted to be in the big pool (they don't even know there is a wave pool, seriously underinformed children I have here).

Anyhoo (yes, again), here's what my Olympus captured underwater at the very best part of Six Flags Fiesta Texas, according to Faith and Cutie Pie:

It that last one doesn't make you laugh out loud, something could be wrong with you. It was my first time to use the Olympus underwater. Not bad for my first attempt at Jacques Cousteau style photography! If you decide to buy one of these cameras, please don't tell your husband I had anything to do with it.

Fun in the Heat

When I turned around in my seat and said to Faith and Cutie Pie, "Ok, are you ready to know where we're going today? Six Flags!", blank stares greeted me.

"Six Flags!!"

Blinking and empty looks.

"With lots of rides!"

Then, Cutie Pie started crying saying that she just wanted to go to Papalou's house.

I was flabbergasted. I knew that they had never been to a theme park, but I thought they realized they were missing out on something. Turns out, they didn't.

I turned forward and told them that they would just have to trust me on this one. Then, very calmly, Faiths says, "Mom, when can we just go to that place we see in the big city with the roller coaster?"

"That's where we're going!"

Cheers from Faith. Cutie Pie was still crying about being forced to go to Six Flags instead of Papalou's house.

"Oh, and we're going with the Kings!"

Instant cheers from Cutie Pie (the tears hadn't finished streaming down her face).

I obviously need to work on my presentation.

So, here ya' go. Proof that the younger girls' first trip to Six Flags was super fun despite the degrees:

I'll share some hilarious photos tomorrow of their very favorite part of the entire day. Not only will the post entertain you, it could both save you lots of money and make you want to spend a couple hundred dollars. Be sure to tune in!

I'm Curious, So Please Vote

My Sweetie and I were having a discussion the other day about women in America. He thinks my view is way off base. He's often correct, but this time... I don't think so.

So, to help us out and to satiate my curiosity, please vote in the poll I have on the right.

The question is this: if you could be considered one of the five listed, plus keep everything the same you are right now, what would you choose? The poll in anonymous, no one will know how you vote. Please be totally honest.

Feel free to leave any comments you'd like about the poll, or your choice, here.

Works for Me- Teaching What I Believe

Sharing my faith with my children is truly important to me. Just as the personal side of my faith is important, so is making sure my kids know doctrine and spiritual truths is vital. I didn't learn and understand some of these concepts until after college. That is not what I want for my kids. It is too easy to be led astray if they are not grounded in truth. Just as the FBI trains its agents to spot counterfeit money by being sure they are solidly familiar with the real thing, so it goes with God's Word.

A kid and parent friendly tool I found a couple of years ago that teaches Scriptural truths in a fun and memorable way is this book:

I had always been a bit intimidated by the word catechism because it sounded a bit too harsh and serious, but catechism is simply teaching truths in a question and (specific) answer format. It's not harsh, but it is serious. Only in the way that teaching the truth about God is a serious business. The method can be fun and with this book, it is!

This book is written in a story and catechism questions format. What I mean is that it has a list of questions and answers on the left page and then the right page starts a story that demonstrates one or more of the truths conveyed in the questions. The stories are cumulative and engaging. We use this book with all of our kids, though it is aimed at four to eight year olds. The older kids really learn the information well, but so do the little ones.

For example: One of the first nights of our local AWANA meetings, the leader asked the group of twenty kids, "What is sin?" The Boy, while sitting next to My Sweetie, raised his hand and was called on. He silenced the room when he answered, "Any thought, word or deed that breaks God's law by omission or commission." My Sweetie beamed and the leader stared slack jawed. It was great! A different time, someone asked Faith, "Can you see God?" and she said, "We can not see God, but He can always see us." Yes, that's prideful of me, but My Sweetie and I were thrilled that they were internalizing the basics of our faith. Plus, we knew that they had been having fun doing it.

The way we use the book is that every night that we read a story, we do the following: we review all or many of the previous catechisms (depending how far we are in the book), we teach (read the Q & A, then have them repeat the A back to us), we read the next story, we answer the three discussion questions at the end of the story (they are very easy). I know it sounds like a lot of time, but it isn't. The authors made sure to not have long stories. They really thought out this book.

I hope you give it a try with your family! It sure works for mine!

Check our We are THAT Family for ideas on all kinds of things at the Works for Me Wednesday post this week.

Degrees

Yesterday I took the younger girls to Six Flags with a friend and her kiddos for her birthday.
Yesterday it was 103 degrees.

Before we left, I chose carefully what we would wear. Cute skirts and shirts. Light and comfy. Hats, sunscreen, water bottles: check, check, check. We were going to have fun and look cute doing it.

My Sweetie says I'm vain. He says this just because I care how I look more often than not. Just because I care about clothes matching, being clean and not having holes in them . Just because I bathe every day. Just because I pluck. Just because I look in a mirror at times other than brushing my teeth. I don't think all of that adds up to being vain. (this is sarcasm for those not catching my rolling my eyes at how my husband cares for himself)

but

I do also try to look nice if I leave the house, but not always. I especially try if there is going to be a camera anywhere near me. I do my hair and often a bit of makeup. I choose, with consideration, what I will wear. Yes, even when I am having a baby. I realized after the third baby, that maybe, just maybe, that made me a little vain (sidenote: this is a perk of having a c-section; getting to look decent, not getting to be vain).

After almost fifteen years of listening to My Sweetie use the word vain when referring to me, I've started to notice times when he is right. Like when I keep checking my hair when we're going to meet people. Or when I put on lipstick to go to the dining hall. Or when I won't even have my photo taken if the wind is blowing, exposing my mile high forehead. Or when I do my hair and makeup before an 'emergency' c-section. Or when I do my hair and makeup before going to a theme park on a scorching summer day. I've realized that, compared to some, these things are a tiny bit vain.

Yesterday my determination at not being all that vain was tested. It wasn't a short test. You decide if I passed or failed.

Granted, I chose our outfits carefully.
Granted, I did my hair before we left.
Granted, I even put on some makeup.

When we walked into Six Flags just before noon and the sweat started to bead down my back, front and sides after less than ten minutes of taking kids to rides on the asphalt, the test commenced.

Was I going to leave my hair as it was and be decent looking for photos, but be hotter than Hades? or was I going to put it up under a hat and not care how I looked for the rest of the day (my hair does not recover from being sweaty under a hat ... does yours?), but feel cooler?

I realized right there in that concrete wonderland that there are degrees of vanity.
Tested and proven when the degrees in the air pass the melting point.

I put my hair up in a ponytail, smushed my bangs beyond any point of redemption under a hat, and smeared zinc laden sunscreen on my face.

Turns out, when the temperature passes 100, I'm proven to be not so high up the degrees of vanity scale.

(This post was supposed to be funny and sarcastic. Sorry I didn't convey that so well.)

Ball Solitude

I won't claim to be the best housekeeper in the world. Or on the camp. Or block. But, I try. I'm light years ahead of where I was when My Sweetie and I first married.

Seriously. We used to have to run around the house carrying loads of clothes and 'stuff' to dump in our bedroom when friends would come over. And then there is the whole laundry lesson.

I digress.

Something strange occurs in my home now for which I have no explanation. I thought it was my poor housekeeping, but I've decided it's something much more bizarre than that.

It seems the cheapo (BPA containing, I'm sure) plastic balls given to my son have a life of their own. They seek solitude. They do not want to be a part of the mass ball-hood, they seek a quieter life alone. Or as the only plastic ball amongst dust and debris.

How do I know this? Because I find these stinkin' (not a term of endearment as usually seen on this blog) balls in the strangest places. It doesn't matter how hard I work to contain them in their clear plastic bag in Wee Babe's room.

When I'm cleaning the house or even if I'm just strolling in my home (it's a long floor plan), I find them. I almost feel like I expose them and they wish they could quickly hide from me so I won't drop them back into their bag. I can almost hear them shrieking.

If you ever come visit, don't be surprised if you find one of these balls in your car as you leave. Don't be scared. It's just a ball trying to strike out on his (or her, who's to say?) own. I'm ok with that.

Best of luck, balls.

Zone Defense!

Keeping clutter at bay has been a battle I lose too often. I needed a different game plan. While watching the Spurs with My Sweetie one night, it hit me. I needed to switch to zone defense instead of man on man, which was exhausting me quickly.

Here's what I did: I chose areas of the house that could use a clutter check daily (or twice a day in our case) and assigned those areas to someone. As the coach, I explained what is expected when I declare, "Zone defense!" Then I did a dry run in each area with all children watching.

Here's our current Zone Defense:
HB- dining room (Usually the drop zone and therefore the most cluttered... most valuable player gets this zone. Lucky her.)
The Boy- school room (Second messiest zone... he's thrilled to have this assignment)
Princess- family room
Faith- bathrooms
Cutie Pie- front room
Me- kitchen (I was lying when I said those other two areas are messier than this room.)

So, twice a day, we do our zones. This keeps clutter at bay and is extremely helpful if you suddenly realize guests are on their way. Or if they are pulling up in the driveway. Whatever.

I realize lots of you may not have five children who can each have their own zone. In that case, they could each have two zones or they could have the most important zones as designated by the coach (messiest most often, the only areas guests see, most visible from the front door, etc).

That's what Works for Me (this) Wednesday. Check out We are THAT Family for lots of clever ideas!

Making Memories

I love lists! Lots of lists. Lists about what I need to do, buy, look for, plan for, talk to someone about, and make a list for. I have spiral notebooks all over the house with lists in them. I'm not the most organized woman in the world, but I sure like to try.

Yesterday was summer schedule day here at the GfG house. I reorganized the kids chore systems, the zone defense assignments (tomorrow's post), summer academics, and one more thing. It was actually the only thing the kiddos stood up and cheered about. Summer Fun Goals.

We pow wowed about activities we'd like to accomplish before the summer is over. It was really surprising to see what kinds of things they were interested in doing. It meant a lot to the children to hear that I had goals for us that were strictly for fun. They don't know that there is an ulterior motive involved: making memories. I totally love doing things that make a memory on my child's heart. Brings me joy.

So... here's our list:
Go to the (sorta) local rodeo and dance one Friday night
Catch lightning bugs
Go dam sliding
Go bowling
Go to a crepe restaurant
Swim in (insert name of [sorta local] town) at their favorite spot on the river
Play putt-putt golf on camp
Go to the (insert name of homeschooling family here)'s at least twice for river fun
Go on a bike ride
Ride the horses on camp

I will admit a couple of suggestions were vetoed by me. They were outdoor on cement only kinds of activities (think, zoo). Mama doesn't go to those places in the summer. September, October and November. Yes. June, July and August. No way.

Only two activities on our list cost money and only one of them is a day trip. Nothing over the top, just simple things we all want to do at least once while we have an open schedule.

Often, families plan to make the most of summer, then the next thing they know, it's August. Family vacations are common, but just as important, in my opinion, are the little events that make summer memorable.

Why not sit down with your kids and ask them what they might be interested in doing this summer. I bet you're surprised by what they think would be 'super fun'.

Overwhelming

It's been a milestone week for my family. My Sweetie started his first summer back on staff at The Camp that started it all for him. For us. My kids attended their first session at a new camp for them. A camp unlike any other. A place where physically handicapped children are not different, they just are.

On check in last Sunday, Faith met physical handicap head on. It floored her. It brought tears to her eyes and an ache in her heart. As we dropped The Boy off in his unit, Faith saw a boy with only one arm. That's the only appendage he had. No legs. Just one arm. He was pushing himself around on the floor, laughing and playing tag with a counselor. Just as if nothing was different about him. She just stared and whispered (not in embarrassment, but in awe) to me with palatable pain in her voice, "Mama, Mama! Why is he like that?" I was surprised. I shouldn't have been, but I was. We warned the kiddos about the kids they would see on camp. I thought they were prepared. HB, The Boy and Princess grew up around many people with disabilities and became accustomed to them early. While they were little, we had two friends in wheelchairs, a friend with cerebral palsy, two friends with physical anomolies, and a deaf foster son. In the last few years, our circle of friends has changed and Faith and Cutie Pie haven't been around many people with disabilities. Only Uncle Ross, and he doesn't look too different to them.

A boy with only one arm, much different. I wasn't caught off guard because I worked at this camp for five summers. I saw a lot. I walked through the shock and then acceptance many, many moons ago. My kids haven't though.

They did this week. Funny, Faith adjusted in just hours. After dropping off The Boy, we walked outside and I explained that sometimes God made kids different looking. Sometimes they had been sick and had to have surgery or something. I didn't know what the camper's background was, that she could ask Daddy though. She bee lined it to him. Her eyes were still eggs as she said all in one breath, "Daddy, there's a boy in The Boy's cabin. He has only one arm. No legs. At all. Why is he like that, Daddy? Why?" My Sweetie calmed her down and talked to her. We went home with her still pondering the whole thing.

Hours later, at a dinner picnic with all the campers and counselors, she saw the camper playing again and doing handstands and such. She soaked in the image. She saw lots of different 'things'. It was like you could physically see her sorting things out. On the way home, she cheerfully said, "Ya' know, if I had been born like that, it would be cool. Cuz I could do all these great tricks and stuff. It would be ok. Sometimes I'd use a wheelchair and sometimes I wouldn't." Then she went on to a new topic, Webkinz or something.

That conversation is symbolic of how the week has gone for Faith and Cutie Pie. A bit of shock and then time to observe and then acceptance. It's been beautiful.

HB, The Boy and Princess walked a little bit of a different journey this week. They lived with the campers and counselors during the day. All that this place has to offer, they experienced. They got to see how physical disabilities can just disappear. They made a connection that even their dad and I don't have. We were never campers, just counselors.

I can not tell you what it means to me to see my kids experience this place.

Last night was the cincher though. This camp ends with an awards night program. Lots of singing. Lots of cheers. Lots of awards. Lots and lots of smiles.

I was transferred back in time to 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993 and 1994. Images of campers who are now old enough to be parents flashed through my mind. Friends I made and who are still important people in my life, including Jan, who was there tonight. She brought her niece and nephew. It was totally a God thing that she planned to be there even before she knew three of my kiddos would be campers. I cried sitting next to her as we both had reels of memories running through our heads combining with memories being made that instant.

Seeing my kiddos sing the camp songs and do the cheer with their own personal connection. Amazing.

Seeing My Sweetie give out Distinguished Camper awards just as he did eighteen years ago (and more) as a young whipper snapper. Awesome.

Seeing the coup feathers my kids earned. Breathtaking.

Seeing my family tie the knot, together, with heartstrings for this place. Overwhelming.

Be Prepared **edited

I have a much happier post in the works for today (just waiting for photos), but something happened a hour and a half ago that warrants a post and your attention. Briefly, I promise.

You know, I've grown up hearing about 'fire plans' and 'emergency plans' for families. I thought they sounded a little paranoid. Not any more.

This morning I almost drowned. Weird, since I was in the shower. But it's true. Somehow I took a deep breath while turning towards the water. In some strange odds defying moment, I inhaled enough water to cause an emergency. I couldn't breathe. I tried. All that happened was a really scary sound. A sound I knew meant I was not getting enough oxygen and that if it didn't get better, I had only minutes to live. Seriously. I have choked on food before or water and gotten a little concerned, but this was waaaaayy different. I knew immediately this was bad. I was not panicked, but I have taken enough CPR and First Aid classes to know something needed to change quickly.

The Boy had been eating his cereal outside with the other younger kids, but wanted more and came in. He heard the scary noise from the kitchen and came into the bathroom (sign that it really was a scary sound... a ten year old boy burst into the bathroom of his showering mother). One look at my face and he knew all was not well. He asked anyway, I shook my head. I grabbed a towel and stood there trying to get a good breath. It was not working and in my head the clock was ticking. I stared at my son who kept asking if I was ok. I knew I wasn't. Finally, I signed 9-1-1 to him. He said, "Call 9-1-1?" I nodded and sat on the ground. He came back into the room talking to the 9-1-1 operator and, to me, an awful conversation was taking place. My sweet son said, "I don't know our address." Tears sprang into his eyes as he realized the importance of that information. He calmly told them though that he lived at the back of *** Camp, and what two major roads our house was off of (I had trained them over and over about the two highways the property is on). It may sound odd, but during those seconds, I had the following thoughts running through my head: I want My Sweetie but he won't have time to make it; if I die right here, my kids will be traumatized as they wait for the ambulance; I don't want to die naked; how can I get more air; how can this be happening; there is nothing to Heimlich Maneuver out, I just need the water to clear; what an awful sound; I don't want my kids to be traumatized; I need air.
Then just as suddenly as I lost the ability to have a good breath, air started to come back through my trachea. I could not breath correctly yet, but the sound was changing and I knew that was good news. I waved to The Boy. He listened and told the 9-1-1 operator to hang on. He stared at me and listened. I stared at him and listened. I have no idea what the 9-1-1 operator was doing, but I bet he was staring and listening too. The sound continued to change until I could whisper. He handed me the phone. I said quietly (I wanted to shout, trust me), "I think I'm ok now."
"Are you sure, ma'am? What happened?"
"Somehow I inhaled water in the shower. It's getting better now. I can talk and I know that's good."
"Yes, ma'am, it is. Do you want us to still send the ambulance?" (When The Boy dialed and the operator answered the call by asking what the emergency was, The Boy said, "Something happened to my mom in the shower. Something's wrong." The operator asked, "Do you need an ambulance or an officer?" He smartly said, "An ambulance.")
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, thank you very much."

The Boy and I sat there in the hallway listening to my breathing improve. Then we held each other and wept. I told him how proud I was of him. How wonderfully he did. How calmly he behaved. How I know that was scary for him. How he did everything right.

After the air cleared, both literally and figuratively, I gathered all the children. I explained in a raspy voice (my voice still doesn't sound normal) that I had made a mistake in thinking 9-1-1 automatically knows our address when we call. I told the kids I know they memorized our mailing address, but they now had to learn our new physical address (which, by the way, is different than the camp's... mail can not even be delivered to this physical address). Our address is shared by all four duplexes and it seems is not on the 9-1-1 computer when we call (that will be addressed by My Sweetie on Monday morning, count on it). We also talked about an emergency plan.

I commended The Boy more and then explained an emergency procedure. Since they are often alone with one adult, if something happens to that adult, they need to know what to do.

1) One person calls 9-1-1
2) One person runs to Mrs. King's house (or Papalou's neighbor if they are there) for help. He/she does not knock. They burst in and say exactly what is wrong (ex: My mom can't breathe.).
3) One person stands outside the front door waving his/her arms to help the ambulance find the right duplex/house.

It was the second scariest moment of my life. After not having to call 9-1-1 my whole life, I have now had to call it twice in less than a year's time.

I think being prepared has taken on new meaning for me. I share all of this with you not to have you live in fear, but to encourage you to do the following:
A) Talk about 9-1-1. I will admit my 6yo knew nothing about it until this morning. BUT she is sometimes with Papalou or myself and just the younger kids. If it had only been her with me this morning, she would not have known what to do. She's old enough to know. Now she does.
B) Talk about what to do to help. The steps above are great.
C) Have your older kids learn basic CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver
D) And have your kids learn your physical address even if it's not used for anything except emergencies and even if it's not a road anyone else in town knows and even if you live out in the middle of no where with a physical address that is not on any regular map
E) Post your physical address somewhere so even visitors or little kids (who only know letters and numbers) can read it (or spell it all out) to a 9-1-1 operator
F) Make sure all the children in your home no where to find a phone or how to find the phone (handset pager)

I know that my children can not handle any emergency. I know that we can not have a plan for every kind of incident, but we are more prepared now.

Thank you, LORD for clearing the water for me. I'm truly grateful.

**I know this sounds unbelievable or exaggerated. I know. It wasn't though. I can not even compute the odds of this happening, but it did.
Also, just to clarify... we live at the back of a 500 acre camp. We live right off a (semi) highway (like 40 yards), but the road/entrance to the camp has never been named until last year. It did not have an official street name. A year ago, a friend noticed that and wanted to be sure that the families who live at this back entrance to camp had 9-1-1 assitance, so he got the road officially put on 9-1-1. We have the blue street sign and address to prove it (in this town if you have the blue signs, that is suposed to mean you are in the system). I never had the kids learn this address because I thought that the only need for that address was for 9-1-1 call and that since we had the blue signs, we were on the computer call up. No need to learn the 9-1-1 address. Does that make sense? I had them learn the two roads because that would be necessary for 'finding home'.

Elvis has Joined the Family

Begging, pleading, persuasive paper writing, and praying have all centered around one desire in this house for a couple of years now: getting a dog. Since our sweet Sandy left us almost three years ago, the kiddos have wanted a dog or puppy. Twice I have avoided near ownership. Once was even for a 'free puppy', a yellow Labrador, no less (my favorite breed). You know there is no such thing as a free puppy, right? Someone giving us a puppy would still cost me plenty in vet bills, food fees, training time and destroyed item agony.

So, hurdles were erected:

1) We had to have permanent housing.

2) We had to have a fenced yard.

3) We had to have time to train a puppy OR it had to be dog that was already potty and behavior trained.

4) We had to agree on the breed.

The first two hurdles were jumped when we moved here almost four months ago. All eyes turned to me. All eyes. I stated without any reservation that I did not have time to train a puppy and probably wouldn't until our last baby was out of diapers. I refused to promise when the 'last baby' has occurred, so that leaves it opened ended. I'm completely happy with that situation. The children are not. My Sweetie was undecided, but (quite brilliantly) landed on the side of a happy marriage.

Then, out of the blue, we got a dog.

Seriously.

Sort of.

Seems there is such a thing as a free dog! We don't have to feed him, or take him to the vet or the trimmers. We don't have to train him. We can kick him out of the house whenever we want. We can love him and pet him and name him, well, we don't get to name him. He's already named. Elvis, to be exact. We don't have to find someone to care for him when we leave town. Actually, all we have to do is love him.

See, Elvis belongs to our neighbors, The King Family, but my kiddos have (semi) adopted him. If the King Girls are here, so is Elvis. If we go for a walk, so does Elvis. If we go outside to visit/eat/water the garden, so does Elvis. If the kids go to ask if the King Girls can play and they can't and my kids have to walk back home, so does Elvis (sometimes on his own, sometimes one of my kids picks him up and carries him to our house... whatever).

Elvis is not the breed of dog we would have picked, but he cleared all the other hurdles. AND he is an answer to prayer. God gave the desire of my kiddos' hearts without asking me to do any more work. How sweet is that?

Elvis, welcome to the family!

I'm a Smartypants!

I am soooo stinkin' proud of this...

I completed a Smartypants Quiz on Pioneer Woman's Site with 100% accuracy AND I was one of the 5 picked for $50 to Amazon! The Boy and I are addicted to her quizzes and do them every time. We do not always complete them and we have only earned a 100% one other time. This one was my favorite because I love art. I was determined to finish it correctly and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out #5. A. Lot. of. Time. Let's say, nothing else got done around my house that morning/mid-morning/early afternoon (Evidenced by the fact that I was the 256th person to comment and the first one to get a 100% was 23rd! She is really a Smartypants!) The Boy kept walking by the computer saying, "Still trying to figure that one out, huh?" When I finally completed it, I was proud. It was like a refresher crash course in art history (one of my very favorite college classes) in one day. I knew 5/8 of them without looking them up, but had to be sure. (Why yes, I am bragging. Do you have a problem with that?)

I've been waiting days for her to post the winners. She thought she had posted the answers and winners already and has been wondering why people keep asking. She hadn't and we kept waiting anxiously.

When I saw my name this afternoon, I started screaming! (Yes, I am pitiful. Do you have a problem with that?). Kids came running to be sure I was alright. I explained the moment to them. They stared at me, mouths gaping, eyes blinking. I said, "Uh... Ok, I won $50!" They suddenly grasped the concept and started cheering with me and telling me what they'd like. I sent them out of the room. Then I called Best Life, who reads Pioneer Woman and would know what I was talking about. She did the happy dance with me and bowed to me through the phone (Yes, I am that proud of this accomplishment. Do you have a problem with that?) THEN I called My Sweetie. Told him to track down The Boy on camp, wherever he was, whatever he was doing, and tell him Mama was a winner in the Smartypants Quiz. I knew he would be proud of and happy for me. He was. Good boy.

I've had a list of books waiting that I want to buy to do a Texas wildlife unit with the kids this summer. So, this is the answer to the funding request I was going to have to make before I even had to approach the curriculum committee of our homeschool. The committee is a real tightwad. The committee is really cute and all, but tends to raise eyebrows and dash hopes for homeschooling books unless they are absolutely necessary. Really a wet blanket for a teacher who loves books. Seriously. You don't want to know how many books are in this house. I'll just say the movers kept asking where the books go and the committee keeps asking how many we really need.

Anyway, that's the really big news from my little place in the world today: I'm a Smartypants and am now semi famous (not really at all, but it's possible that thousands of people will see my blog name today and that's close enough... yes, she has that many readers) in the blogosphere.

Feel free to feel proud to know me! (No, I'm not serious. Well... ok, I am. Do you have a problem with that?)

A Good Different

We are on day three of first session here at camp. What that usually means is that my husband still hasn't had a day off in 18 days and has four more to go. What that usually means is that he has these two lines crinkled in his brow from stress and a constant stream of focused thought. What that usually means is that he has to be sure everything is going smoothly. What that usually means is that we don't see him unless he walks by our table in the dining hall.

But life is different now.

I've shared how hard this time of transition is for us, so I thought I'd share a good thing too.

My husband is off today! As in, doesn't have any responsibilities for camp today. As in, things are taken care of today in his areas. As in, the leadership staff has a handle on things and/or can go see someone else today if they need something. As in, his supervisors said, "You better stay off today!" As in, we're leaving town for the day: three kids are at camp, two are going to spend the day with Papalou, and the baby is going with us to meet up with friends for lunch and visit (We're going to have Indian food in case you were wondering... I'm sure you were. What did you say? My Sweetie doesn't love Indian food and it's his day off, so why are we going to eat Indian food? Hush yourself. This is sorta like my day off too.). As in, we both keep looking at each other and smiling.

As in, wow, this is nice.

Just 'Cuz I've Been Missing Her More Than Normal

Working on this post made me cry. That probably doesn't surprise you, but the reason might. I realized how few photos I have of my mom. I have been too focused on photographing the children. I wept because I know she was around so often, yet I have very, very few recent snapshots of her or they are not good photos (like the one My Sweetie took of me hugging her towards and end of a pregnancy... not the best composition there). Odd thing is, I think I probably have more of her from my film camera years than from my digital ones. Sigh. Anyway, please learn from my hard lesson... take photos of your parents AND let yourself be photographed. If I'm not careful, my kids will be in my position down the road. As much as I detest how I look in photos, my kids will not care some day.